Overwhelmed Wednesday

This post might be early or late, depending on how you look at it. I haven’t had consistent internet access since we moved into our new house. I think I’ll be posting this on Monday (writing it on Sunday), which is why it will be early. Our new house is where the beginning of my overwhelming thankfulness begins. It is a beautiful, 80 year old house on a large lot. We definitely have plenty of room for our family of three. Logan seems very happy here, another thing I am overwhelmingly thankful for. Moving around a lot, has been an unfortunate part of his life for too long. It’s nice to finally be settled and to see him enjoying exploring our home. We moved out of Calgary to a small hamlet (yes, it’s not even big enough to be a town haha) called Mirror. It’s a 25 min (beautiful highway) drive away from the town where Deryck grew up. We are much closer to his family now, which is where more overwhelming thankfulness comes in.
Outside of Calgary, the pace of life is much slower, something God had made clear to us that we needed desperately. Deryck and I are prayerful that this will be beneficial to his health. So far, he has been having seizures every single day since the day after we moved into the house. However, yesterday he went to the hospital and they were finally able to help him start to feel better. He is very tired, naturally, after all the seizing, but is grateful to be doing well. I too, am so thankful for this answer to prayer! God knows exactly what we can handle and what we need when we need it. He is a faithful, loving Father! John 14:18 He will always be there. I know this, and yet it passionately overwhelms my heart! I love Him who created me, more than words can say.

Actions and Consequences

Time and again, I watch my beautiful little boy do the same thing over and over regardless of the consequences. In fact, he seems to often expect different results. I realize that this is necessary to his learning. Picking up a ball and dropping it time after time teaches him cause and effect. But then there are times when he reaches for something I’ve told him not to grab and doesn’t understand that “No.” means don’t do it. We’re working on that . As I watch him grow and explore the world of learning, I learn so much from him. Watching him doing things like pull a vent cover out of the floor and not expecting to get in trouble for it, got me thinking. Babies aren’t the only ones who do this. They’re just the only ones who have a legitimate excuse to do it. How often do we perform the same sinful, selfish, reckless, or just plain stupid behaviours, expecting everything to work out? How often do we do these things, live a lifestyle against God and then ask Him to bail us out? Where is the “new man”? Eph 4:24 Why give into the old behaviours that never work out? God is a God of forgiveness, but that isn’t free reign to be careless. I think the past should be a place of lessons good and bad, not just fun re-runs. Let’s not act like babies and forget the consequences .

Overwhelmed Wednesday

A friend of mine blogs a lot (and boy does she make me look bad haha) and has deemed Thursdays on her blog to be “Thankful Thursdays”. I love that idea and thought of using it but, being me, I decided to actually come up with something else. As life has calmed down to a normal (see *crazy) pace, I really would like to blog more frequently. OR regularly, I should say. I know, I know, I’ve said that before. But lately God has really been working in me to not let myself get caught up in life. Instead, I’ve been focusing on being more intentional about being thankful and noticing all the little things I usually take for granted. This has lead to me being overwhelmed on a consistent basis at how much God’s hand is in every area of my life. Hence the title, “Overwhelmed Wednesday”. This title may, at first, sound negative, but by all means it is quite the opposite. I don’t think being overwhelmed has to be a bad thing. In fact, I believe that being underwhelmed (a word?) is where the danger lies.

Friends. Family. Child. Spouse. Housework. Errands. Cooking. Health. These are just some of the many things that consume my time. I love my life. My life is very busy though and with everything always running at the speed of light, I know that I can get focused on all the wrong things. For most of us, it’s far easier to notice the bad things over the good. We often let what frustrates us blur out what should give us joy.

I don’t want to be like that anymore. I don’t want to be underwhelmed by the fact that I very literally awoke today because of God. I don’t want to take for granted the immense blessings He puts in my life. So, here we are on Overwhelmed Wednesday. What has God overwhelmed you with today, this week, this month? Here a few things that I am going to intentionally thank Him for right now.

God, thank you for overwhelming me  …

• By giving breath
• With the magnitude of Your love
• By keeping Deryck seizure free from Feb 8-Feb 21
• With getting us all through Logan teething, Deryck’s strep, Logan and myself having the flu, and now me being sick again in a matter of weeks. We truly would not be able to survive anything without your blessing and care.
• In Your provision for our living situation.
• In how You went above and beyond for our living situation and gave us a beautiful house to live in.
• By providing a way for us to be closer to family.
• By working to grow, mend, and renew relationships through Your grace.
• With my beautiful son.
• With the love of my husband.
• That I get to celebrate 25 years of life on this Earth tomorrow. A testimony to Your gift of placing me here.
• And…for allowing Logan to take a nap this whole time. ;-p

I don’t want to ever stop being overwhelmed with who God is in all of our lives. The only time I don’t want to be overwhelmed from now on, is when I’m letting myself get bogged down by the stress and worry of things that don’t matter. What matters in this life is bigger than what I’ve been guilty of letting myself focus on for far too long.

Father God,

You matter. Your plan for this world matters. Your love, your sacrifice, your forgiveness, your gifts, they all matter. Help me to focus more on the things of You, more on how You impact every moment of my life because You love me and want to be part of it.

I love you. Amen.

My Son

My son is independent.

My son is strong.

My son is happy.

My son is smart.

My son is loving.

My son is a gift.

There’s so much more I can say about my, soon-to-be five month old. When I look at him, I see the love of God. I see it in his smiles, his love, his eyes, and his growth. I’m amazed at how much he has changed in a relatively short amount of time. With all the change, he is still the same little boy God gifted us with on May 11. As his personality continues to shape, I’m discovering bits and pieces of who he was made to be. I know he will continue to grow, learn, and change. I’m so thankful I’m along for the ride!

My husband and I saw the movie Courageous the other night. It’s a wonderful movie and if you haven’t heard of it, please look it up. The movie focuses largely on the role of a father in a child’s life. That’s not to say a mother won’t get anything out of it. I think this movie is very much for both parents. My husband and I got a lot out of it. We were reminded of how precious Logan’s life is and how much of an honor, a privilege it is, to be able to raise him.

Psalm 127:3
Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him.

 

The Beginning of The Rest of Our Lives

After taking a bit of an hiatus from writing, while I was pregnant, I finally feel like I can get back into it. It’s also a great way to update everyone. We appreciate when everyone asks how we are. It’s just not so easy these days to make sure all the information is out there. A little over two months ago, our son Logan was born! He is such a blessing in our lives!! Despite some complications during labor & an emergency c-section, Logan made it into the world safe & sound! He was born at 5lbs 14oz & now weighs in at over 11lbs! Praise God!!

As I’ve watched Logan grow since birth, I feel as though I’ve learned something new every day. God is using my little boy to teach me new things & remind me of the old. Some of these things have been about love, God’s love, life, stress, and joy. As for love, I believe it goes hand-in-hand with God’s love. I remember once, years ago, having a conversation with my parents about love & God’s love. The discussion was about whether or not someone can truly love [a child, a spouse, etc.] if they don’t know the love of God. I’m still not sure of the answer. But what I do know, what I learned even during my pregnancy was that you can most definitely better understand the love of God once you become a parent. To love a child is extraordinary, scarey, and wonderful. To worry became something more than I’d known, once the life of my child was involved. A child changes everything. Having a child is helping me better relate to how God sees me. Now of course, God has no need to worry for us because worry comes from doubt & He knows all. But He does hurt for us, as we hurt for our children. He does love us with more love than we could express to our own children in a lifetime. And He does rejoice for our successes more than any party we could ever throw for our children. God’s abilities and experiences as a parent are magnified in contrast to our’s. Becoming a mom has allowed me to see such a small, exciting glimpse of what being a Father is to Him.

As for life…boy does it change when your baby arrives. I never doubted all those who told me that time & again. But to hear it & to experience it are totally different. Our life has become what our dream was. Our dream became a reality! Logan is a handful for sure, but he such a gift, a joy to love. He makes me tired. Ha! But when he smiles at me, he takes my breath away! He is the proof of the love God gave Deryck & I for each other. His birth was the beginning of the rest of our lives!

As for life & stress, they’ve gone hand-in-hand quite a bit lately.  Unfortunately, Deryck’s health has been quite poor since Logan arrived. [He was recently admitted to the hospital with unstoppable seizures & newly developed speech problems. The doctors are trying a new medicine regiment for his seizures, and we were also hit with the information that his brain tumor is growing back & will require surgery in a few years.] That’s left me doing almost all of Logan’s care, while Deryck is not able to have as much time as he would like with him. While I absolutely love spending time with my little boy, it doesn’t afford much time for rest, recuperation, or even house work. I’ve spent quite a bit of time feeling frazzled. But, by the grace of God it’s getting easier. He gives me the strength to keep going & get everything done. What a wonderful Father we have, that TRULY knows what we can handle despite whether or not we agree!

“I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.” Phil 4:13

Despite the health problems & because of our son & the love of our Lord God, our joy continues on. We take one day at time, make the most of it, and prepare for the next day. I’ll try to blog again when I get a chance & update more specifically. Thanks for reading!! Let me know if I can be praying for you!

-AT THE TOP OF THE SCREEN THERE IS A “SUBSCRIBE” BUTTON IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE ALERTED WITH NEW POSTS

A God of Surprises, Who is Never Surprised.

I’ve chosen the title of this blog to be about surprises. Not everything going on in our life right now is a surprise. Some things were expected, some waited for in patience. Yet, I find myself continually surprised and overwhelmed by God’s goodness. From finances to the fact that Deryck has been seizure-free for over two weeks..we are blessed!! However, God is not a good God because He blesses us with materialistic things or anything of the like, of course. He’s a good God because of who He is, because of love we don’t deserve.

While we’re surprised by things that do and do not happen in our lives however, that is not the case with God. I love that about Him! I love that no detail, big or little, escapes His knowledge. I love that I can’t even fathom His knowledge. I even love [although not so much when I give into impatience] that I don’t get to see every step in my life, that light only shines on the things I need to see in the dark.

I’ve said all of this to say that God has surprised us with something we did and didn’t not see coming. After much, much prayer Deryck and I decided to start a family. Two weeks ago we found out that we have been blessed with the gift of life. We don’t yet know, even after seeing the doctor, how far along I am. This is where, what we didn’t expect, comes in. Blood tests have revealed that my hormone levels are too low. This can greatly effect the life and growth of our baby. I have to continue to have blood tests every two days while they watch these levels. If the levels were to decrease, the baby would be in grave danger. They are increasing, but slowly & they should be doubling every two days.

While we have moments of worry, we take ourselves right back to trust and remembering that God is never surprised. He is in control. He is watching over our baby. We are excited for this baby to be born! Whether this child has developmental issues or not, we will love this blessing with all our hearts and raise them to serve God. Deryck and I would appreciate prayers for the continued growth and well-being of our baby. I’m doing all I can, plus what the doctor has recommended to keep this child as safe and healthy as possible! Thank you all so much! We love you and appreciate the fact that we can share our lives and love for God with you.

A Time of Blessings

Psalm 128

A song of ascents.

¹ Blessed are all who fear the LORD,
who walk in his ways.

² You will eat the fruit of your labor;
blessings and prosperity will be yours.

I’ve referred to our life many times before as a “rollercoaster.” We’ve definitely seen many ups, downs, twists, and turns. As our one year anniversary came around on the 29th, we reflected on all that we’ve been through and all that we have now.

Deryck and I are now is a season of blessings that makes everything else worth it. We have stayed obedient, especially when it wasn’t easy and as others doubted our decisions. I believe that God is now rewarding us for staying on track with the path He’s laid out before us.

In Canada, we’re far away from family and friends. While that hurts a lot at times, it seems God is using it to prepare us for a future that would take us overseas for missions. God has also blessed us with a great church here. The people have been so helpful and wonderful, as a church people should be. [This church reminds me a lot of West Park.] As of a few months ago, we began volunteering with a youth group through YWAM [Youth With a Mission] and also work with a downtown ministry called Jesus Loves You Society. Both of us have thoroughly enjoyed being a part of these ministries. For us it’s been a real chance to live missionaly right where we are.

Financially, God has also allowed us to prosper. By His grace, after months and months of waiting, some medical assistance that Deryck applied for went through. This is a huge help and burden lifted of our shoulders! Rent, groceries, and all other bills are going to be provided for while still allowing us to save money every month. Both of us also have full medical, dental, and prescription coverage through this program. God is good!!

On the health front things have still been pretty crazy. My health isn’t too bad. Deryck’s however has stayed about the same if not worse. He’s been to the hospital many, many more times since I last wrote. We finally saw his doctor on August 17th. She informed us that his tumor is most likely gone and it was not the same kind of tumor he had when he was 2. This is great news, especially since the second type of tumor was not nearly as aggressive as the first. As far as his seizures, she can’t really give any specific reason for them, except for all that his brain has been through. The doctor is trying to treat his seizures by addressing his headache pain. She agrees with us that his terrible headaches are increasing the intensity and frequency of his seizures. So far nothing has really drastically changed but, there have been small changes and Deryck is grateful for that.

Shelter-wise, our new home [as of July 15th] is wonderful. We really love it! A couple from church helped find us a newer tv and some lovely furniture. This place has a real “home” feel. In fact, with everything going on right now Calgary, Alberta Canada is finally feeling like home for both of us. God is SO good!!